I have no desire. I’m already failing this midterm for U.S. History. I know I need to do this, but starting is the hardest thing to do. I feel petty and spoiled that I never do my work when Junior year is your most important year in high school. In fact, I feel childish. I see all these people in college always doing research papers and their homework, I wish I had that motivation, that urge to get all my homework done and get all A’s. “Then just do it”, Sorry to who ever is perfect out there, I’m not like you. I can’t just stop this habit cold turkey. I know that if I rely on God’s strength I can do anything, but just because I can do anything doesn’t mean I can do it anytime, right?

I don’t know. I know I need to get off my lazy bum that’s for sure. Once I’ve started, I can do it, and I can do fairy well. It’s you, procrastination, that makes me feel like I can’t start something. What’s behind procrastination is the enemy trying to tell me that I’m slow, and dumb, and I’m already doing bad in school and putting thoughts of just giving up in my head.

Lord Jesus, please give me that desire, that passion to want to get good grades for you. I’ve prayed and tried for the longest time. I might still procrastinate till late tonight but I know that you will help me in time. Starting this new semester, I need you more than ever. I need you to bump me back up to where I need to be. You made me very smart, help me apply my skills and knowledge in my school work, because that’s my job right now. Thank you for being so gracious and awesome to me especially when I least deserve it. You’re the best. Also, if you could kinda get rid of this aching heart burn, that would help a ton. I love you!

When I get older, I will be stronger. They’ll call me freedom, just like a Wavin flag, and then it goes back. 

I hope whoever reads this, if they read it, they can understand. I love YOU! 

-Yella Bella BEAST